I’ve covered Transformers extensively on this column, and a cursory glance at those particular articles would tell anyone that I have a jaded cynicism when it comes to the live action films.

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts is the first one of theses films I’ve watched since 2011’s Transformers: Dark of the Moon. While Dark of the Moon was much better than 2009’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, watching it was a draining slog that pretty much killed any excitement I may have had for Transformers in live action. Indeed, the second installment of the series was the first time I went to the cinema with high expectations that plummeted to disappointing lows (we’re talking Dante’s Ninth Circle low).

In 2018, Bumblebee debuted and after checking it out (not in the theater mind you, much later on the home release) after hearing the good word of mouth, I began to have some hope that a soft reboot would manage to provide the live action Transformers experience I had hoped for. It didn’t have to be a spectacular film, just a fun Transformers film. And so I went into this movie with the most neutral levels of expectation, after all, this was the first one of these I’d watched in the theater in 12 years.

And the movie was...okay. Not the worst of these, but certainly not anything breaking new ground.

Let’s dive in. The film opens with the destruction of the home planet of the Maximals, a race of robotic beings like the Cybertronians that turn into biomechanical animals. Their planet is decimated by the arrival of the planet eater, Unicron, and his servants the Terrorcons, leading a group of Maximals to escape with the Transwarp Key, a device that can open portals through space and time.

The movie then shifts centuries later to 1994, where Noah Diaz (Anthony Ramos), an exmilitary electronics expert, is struggling to find a new job to help support his family. He is convinced to steal a Porsche to sell to pay for his younger brother’s medical bills, but this Porsche turns out to be the Autobot Mirage. Now Noah is dragged into a

conflict between the Autobots and the newly arrived Terrorcons seeking the Transwarp Key.

The film follows the same basic steps as all of these Transformers movies and almost feels like a checklist: Transformers being on Earth hidden for centuries, check. Important MacGuffin with a name that vaguely resembles something from older Transformers lore, check. Big, explody finale, check.

And it isn’t just the typical Transformers cliches, this movie had several beats seen a million times in other movies and couldn’t help but be unimpressed or surprised by any of the story turns.

The movies does have the saving grace of looking really good. Colors and the environments are great to look at and each Transformer is easily identified from one another and don’t resemble big gray hunks of metal. And it is nice to see one of these movies that isn’t lit like every time of day is sunset.

I can also say, it is refreshing to have the Transformers be involved in the plot of the movie, whereas before it always felt like they played second fiddle to Shia LaBeouf’s love life. Optimus Prime actually gets some character development and the chance to be more flawed instead of the wise paragon of good he is usually portrayed as.

Unfortunately, Prime is the only one I can say anything positive about, the other Autobots are just there for the ride, except for Mirage, who might be the most insufferable character in these movies in a long while. The Maximals are barely in the film, which is odd when you consider it is called “Rise of the Beasts”, you’d think they’d do more than be the third act reveal. And the less said about the Terrorcons and Unicron the better. As with all the movies, the antagonists exist just to show up for fight scenes, they aren’t really characters or particularly menacing. And I never thought it would be possible, but this movie manages to make the giant space cloud version of Galactus from Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (a lot of rising in these movies huh?) seem like a legitimate threat.

Setting the movie in 1994 was an interesting choice, but ultimately didn’t seem to really matter outside of a couple of soundtrack choices and product placement/objects in the background to make you go “oh hey! I remember that!”; and the time period also seems to not really amount to anything as some characters seemed to talk as though it were 2023, making the whole thing seem like a pointless plot detail.

The action is solid and coherent with everything clearly visible and not mired by shaky cam.

As to whether this is a reboot or prequel, I’m kind of leaning toward reboot considering several plot points contradict future events (if anyone involved in the production of these films actually cares), and the final scene of the movie hints at something that leads me to believe it is a new direction.

On the whole, it was nice to see a Transformers movie freed from the Michael Bayisms of past installments, I just wish it was a more interesting movie than what the final product delivered.

The movie is very generic and doesn’t really offer anything to let it stand out amongst an already packed summer (and a packed June for that matter).

Despite my misgivings, the movie is inoffensive and will likely make for one of the types of films you can put on in the background as white noise while studying, doing chores or the like.

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts gets a 5/10.