Acting as a caregiver for a loved one can be emotionally draining however handling the range of emotions brought forth by the need to care for a spouse can be especially draining. While many seniors who are suffering from debilitating effects of aging or disease also suffer from depression, spousal caregivers may be likely to experience depression at an even higher rate than those for whom they care. Such depression can be spurred by a wide variety of emotional struggles. Care recipients may no longer have the cognitive ability to relate to their spouse, leaving spousal caregivers feeling as though they have lost the husband or wife they once knew so well. Many times, caregivers may feel as though they’re adjusting to taking care of an entirely different person, especially with diagnoses like dementia, which can leave caregivers mourning the loss of their previous life with their husband or wife. While caregivers may feel guilty for these emotions, they are completely normal. Although you may fear talking with others about the changes in your marriage, support groups of caregivers in similar situations may offer a chance to talk about your challenges with people in similar situations. Emotional strain can have an undeniable impact on physical well-being. Excess stress can lead to poor sleep, increased blood pressure, weight gain or loss, headaches or any other wealth of symptoms. Aside from physical conditions that negatively affect health, physical challenges may present themselves in other ways. For example, wives may have trouble physically helping their husband move around the home due to a sheer difference in weight and size, while husbands may find that their own physical conditions make It difficult to help their wife with her mobility. To help work around these physical challenges, it may be helpful to seek assistance from a home care agency, physically able friends and family, or assistive devices like motorized wheelchairs or walkers that can help reduce some of the physical strain.

When a husband or wife begins to require care due to the effects of aging or a physical or mental impairment, the dynamics of a marriage will likely change significantly. Favorite pastimes such as travel or meeting friends for dinner may become more difficult and require caregivers to choose between abandoning some of their old habits or modifying them to allow the care recipient spouse to comfortably participate.

LTCA of Enid Area Agency on Aging can help you with information and assist you with programs that are available for the caregiver. Contact Twila Doucet, Caregiver Coordinator at tdoucet@ltcaenid.org or 580-234-7475.