Dear Annie: My stepson said many nasty, derogatory, hurtful things about his recently deceased father. My husband was well-respected by his peers and friends. Yes, he had his faults, but I loved him dearly, and he was a very good man. I wrote my stepson, let’s call him “Dan,” and told him how hurt I was and to say nothing about how I felt about his remarks was telling Dan I agreed with him. Dan…