Dear Annie: My dad died of lung cancer a few years ago, and because of that, I abhor smoking in all its forms. The problem is I just discovered my boyfriend, who is a nurse, has been secretly vaping behind my back. I was shocked and upset not so much that he did it (which is bad enough) but that he went through great pains to hide it from me. Plus, he works in the medical field and should know better!

He promised to discontinue when I confronted him and that he did it only because of the immense pressure he is under. Recently, I found newly bought vaping pens in his apartment. The smoking and lying have devastated me. Do I break up with him? Betrayed Dear Betrayed: It sounds like your boyfriend is addicted and ashamed. He clearly knows better, but he is having trouble doing better. He might also feel uncomfortable asking for your help, given your disdain for smoking and your father’s health history. Instead of abandoning him and getting angry, help him find support groups for his addiction and healthier coping mechanisms for his stress.

Dear Annie: My serious boyfriend of three years ended things with me very unexpectedly last week. He told me it’s him and wasn’t me, but that’s such a cliche. When I pushed him for an answer, he told me he feels like our spark has just died. He also explained he has not been feeling like himself lately and has decided to go to therapy and heal himself from his childhood trauma, as he believes this is the root cause of his issues with love and relationships.

I am aware of some of the childhood trauma he’s been through and have supported him through all of the times he’s confided in me. However, out of the blue, he said he now needs to be alone to do this because he needs to focus on himself 100%. I feel blindsided and have been crying nonstop.

I miss him and truly feel like he’s the love of my life. All I want to do is reach out to him again. Do you have any advice on how to handle this situation? -- Broken and Blindsided Dear Broken: My heart goes out to you. After three years with this man, it must feel like you’ve had the rug ripped out from under you.

It’s a painful realization, but the person you’re meant to be with would never treat you this way. He’s right; it is him. It will take time to heal, but I urge you to move forward and not contact him again. Imagine if you were married with children and he did this.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www. creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.